jerry brown is giving his state of the state address...

i believe jerry brown would have done as good of a job, if not better, than bill clinton.

i guess blind people can drive now...

just announced, a specially equipped vehicle that lets blind people drive a car with radar or something...i dunno..this don't sound like a very good idea to me...so you can no longer yell "what are you fucking blind?" at another driver because he could sue you for slander...

what do you call a gay dinosaur?

a dino sore ass

whoops...

so..im watching oprah..behind the scenes season 25. in one of these "unscripted" moments in her office with her producers, they are discussing the katherine jackson interview. she turns to her executive producer, sherri shalata and tells her "i was on the phone with my friend gayle king yesterday.." sherri shalata knows what gayle kings last name is...excuseme? reeeal phoney lookin..

charlie sheen does not have a morals clause...

in his contract with cbs. that is very unusual. they knew going into it he was like this. that was intentional. they cannot be legally obligated to fire him no matter what..

is the suez canal up for grabs now???

i once told my ex boyfriend..

scott, that he should just kill himself because in his current state he contributed nothing, and was merely a drain upon the natural resources of the earth. i was pissed.

super bad idea rupaul...

unless shangela is paying some or all of the production cost for drag race, she has no business being there. the "casting extravaganga" showcases all of this talent from around the country that you ignored so that you could bring back someone(shangela)who has already had her shot and proven she doesnt have what it takes to be americas next drag superstar. it really makes you look bad, rupaul, to thumb your nose at obvious talent, to patronize shangela. shame on you...

what the tea party really is...

it is an economic driven revolt. they came out of the woodwork when the economy tanked. once it turns around, they have no platform and WILL go away. just be patient, everyone, their time is waning...

ferries in indonesia...

natalie morales reports on a passenger ferry in indonesia that BURST into flames yesterday. that would be a flaming ferry...

the butt drag..

a 15yo buchanan california high school student brought sexual battery charges on a 17yo team mate saying that during a wrestling move called "the butt drag" the 17yo penetrated the 15yo with his finger. charges were dropped in mediation between the 15yo and the 17yo.  well..first of all, i would have KILLED to have been a fly on the wall in THAT mediation. secondly, wrestling is kindof a gay sport..really..if you dont like that kindof touching, play basketball...

charlie sheen hospitalized..

severe abdominal pain. i am going to guess vicodin and cocaine. dehydrated and constipated. probably impacted...quite painful, i hear

good morning gorgeous..

new york got pounded with 15 inches of snow overnite last night.  is this gorgeous or what?  how beautiful it must have been to wake up to this

the best place to have a heart attack

vegas casino. seriously..it was just on the news. apparently security cameras will detect your fall, and alert help with defibrillators.  statistically the place for the fastest response time. i dunno...i think the best place to have a heart attack would be in the hospital...

apparently not as beefy as weve been lead to believe..

the woman in me..

she's black. she's strong, and she's got a mouth on her.  i let her fight most of my battles.

zsa zsa gabors bel air estate up for sale...

prince fredric von anhalt is going to stick her in a nursing home now, and move into a sweet condo in weho.  he's a homo.  i see him at gay starbucks on smb ALL the time. and that military uniform?   ill betcha he's a real drill sargent in the bedroom...

this, ill watch..

yesterday, the judge in the dr.conrad murray manslaughter trial said he WILL allow cameras in the courtroom.  its gonna be oj all over again!   ill even go down there, cuz you know its going to be a circus every day outside that downtown courthouse. latoya, jermaine...jermajesty...all the freaky things you expect fom a circus..

i would change this sign...

it would read.."memory study".. period.   second line.. "please remember to sign in"...period

i just paid someone alot of money..

to tell me that i view the world thru the lens of objectification. not sure that was money well spent...

so i was wrong about oprah

that'll happen every now and then.

right on..

putin vows revenge for moscow terrorist bomb.  let er rip, vlad...show us what you got. the time is now to send a STRONG and CLEAR message to extremist organizations who kill innocent people that "we aint playin no more.." (do i sound like ne ne on real housewives of atlanta?) hahaha

how to get to the top of the heap..

be mysterious and take risks...i did

jenifer aniston nominated for two razzies...

i couldnt agree more. perfect example of "talentless but connected"

real housewives of atlanta marathon yesterday...

i couldnt tear myself away from the tv.  bravo bravo!  gay men and black women are cut from the same cloth..its hysterical and fascinating..

there is a certain "creep out" factor here..

the lapd has put up these billboards seeking help in identifying possible victims of the grim sleeper serial killer. they want you to log onto their website and look at photographs found in the home of this murderer to see if anyone recognizes someone gone missing years ago.  its kinda creepy...

heres an idea..

why doesnt russia launch a mid range nuke right into that region of pakistan and blow the whole area right off the planet.  theres nothing good out there anyway.

this could be a good thing...

suicide bomber rips up moscow airport. i hope its islamic extremism/al qaeda. you piss off the russians, youre in trouble. they dont fuck around, and they DONT have to be as nice as we do...

dogs dont bark at parked cars...

i have to keep this in mind the next time i go on a barking rampage...

oprahs family drama...

oprah is teasing america saying she has a big family secret to reveal on monday. ill betcha its that one of her dogs has leukemia. "this shook me to my core..." she says.  its drama to build viewership. its going to be a big dissapointment on monday for all the idiots buying into the hype.

experience is not always necessary...

sometimes it can be a detriment....this is LA after all..

what it really looks like

joan rivers tells fox news to go fuck themselves...

click here to see the story. rite on joan!

???

woodland hills high school parents are up in arms with the lausd because their children were on lockdown yesterday due to a shooter at their school who wounded a police officer and is still at large. the parents are pissed because the kids werent allowed to leave the rooms they were in when the shooting started. they had to pee in the trashcans. are you freeking kidding?  someone is shooting up your childs school and youre mad cuz little bobby had to pee in the garbage can?

i cant think of what to call this...

watching kcal news at noon and the newscaster says that congresswoman gabrielle giffords has passed another milestone today...im like  "ah..is she farting okay now?"  its like everyday she does something amazing   "opened her eyes"... "squeezed a finger" ..."passed gas normally"  im so happy for her...

ann gets it...

the today shows ann curry spent some time becoming a member of a high school marching band. as a former marching band member myself, i was real happy when ann turned to her student mentor, with a huge smile on her face, and says "i get it...i get why you love to do this...."   being in a marching band WAS fun..i miss those days and that kindof teenage excitement....

who doesnt love betty white..

congrats to one of the last funny old broads out there for making it to 89 yesterday!

john boehner decides to act stupid...again...

chinese president hu jintao is in washington for a state dinner. this is a huge move by obama intended to create better relations between the us and china. john boehner just snubbed hu jintao and said he wont attend the state dinner. why? hes an asshole, and is trying to undermine obama on a world stage. what a prick.

adieu sargent shriver..

he and his wife eunice are shining examples of what to do with your life when you are born into immense opportunity. you help others. bravo, sargent shriver for a life well lived!

i said this was like polanski showing up at disneyland..

haitian police took duvalier into custody this morning.

regis announces his retirement..

i just hope he does it soon, and never decides to come out of it...

this irritates me..

the today show is running this picture, and doing a story about this poor beautiful woman who now has to split her lottery winnings with her dead beat husband. ill betcha hes got a better picture of himself if nbc had asked. its ridiculous. give the man his money.

this is the picture they should use...

her camp is crying foul saying "this isnt fair". fair? give the guy his fair chance to accurately represent himself...thats what would be fair...shame on you nbc

happy mlk day

i would like to think that ive done alot for the african american community in the last year. with my body.

and michael douglas has had fillers put in his face

no way this fresh out of chemo does he have that much weight on his face. its been injected. i know ;)

sandra bullock needs to fire her stylist..

she looks awful. she looks like a hooker.

im no spring chicken..

ive been around. this is the only time i recall seeing this.  the intersection of westwood and le conte is an everybody move at once intersection. the crosswalks run diagonal as well as usual. its everybody move in all directions, then everybody stop. weird, but i guess it must work..

i think i need a miracle ear...

this commercial cracks me up because it happens to me ALL the time.  its the ally bank "raise your rate cd" ad. a guy is interviewing for a job with this dude here. he tells this interviewer "i like your banks raise your rate cd" and the interviewer looks at him with this face, and says "did you just say you spent 8 days lost at sea? you like watching your neighbors watch tv?     this happens to me TOO often. someone says something to me and im like "wtf did you just say....youll have a pay raise asap?"

baby doc back in haiti

jean claude "baby doc" duvalier has reapperaed in haiti as of yesterday.  thats kindof like roman polanski showing up at disneyland...

loud and boring...

when asked by a reporter upon his release, what prison was like, jack kevorkian replied, "loud and boring"

cartier on helen mirren

6 mil on that necklace. it is cartier.

this elephant didnt know...

a zoo trainer in knoxville was crushed to death by an elephant yesterday. the elephant didnt attack, it just didnt see the trainer and accidentally schmushed her against the wall.   i mean, an elephant is a huge creature..it probably didnt even feel it.  uhm..what did i just sit on??

patient: doctor tell me, what is it that i have?
doctor: im sorry, but it appears you have a severe case of reince priebus.
patient: reince priebus? what is that?  is it bad... am i going to live?
doctor: youre fine.... it just means youre a complete asshole..

reince priebus..

this is the new head of the rnc, reince priebus.  reince priebus..it sounds like a disease...or a disorder.  kindof like  b e i n g  a repuiblican...some sort of mental defect or character flaw...

reagan ucla medical center

i was out here monday for a dr. appt. i guess this is where zsa zsa's right leg is now too

john hancock center

this was my second waiters job. the 95th.  restaurant/club on the 95th and 96th floors. i got shit canned from both places. i was a wild 20yo, what did they think was going to happen...

my first waiters job...

the building farthest right is the lake point tower.  building is is a wavy triangle shape and the top, 70th, floor is round and has a private club with 360 floor to ceiling windows on chicago.  spectacular views.  flaming cherries jubilee and my favorite, bananas foster. i was 20 and had never had bananas sauteed in butter and brown sugar over ice cream.  i was like "what is this other world?"

have you experienced a miracle in your life?  did you pray to john paul II for help?  if so, the catholic church wants to talk to you.  call 888-899-9909...

and i'll go one step further...

ill betcha the catholic church would pay really well to have you associate john paul with an act of miraculous proportion.  THAT would truely be selling your soul to the devil...

i just thought of something funny...

im watching abc world news with david muir.  before station break he gives a preview of whats on deck when they come back.  he says something about an abc staffer wounded in tuscon who returned to work yesterday. he says "was it a miracle?"  i was like "i dunno...call the pope...they're lookin right now..."

im going to add activist to my repertoire.  its true. artist, actor, activist...

the other mega millions winner..

single mom in utah with an estranged husband. why is the media vilifying this guy because he has a rap sheet. like he doesnt deserve her money because they are estrangerd. maybe she's a fucking bitch.  thats why theyre estranged.  keep the judgements out of it and give the man his money.  sheeez!

the key to shopping at Ross Stores...

the true price of things at Ross is not paid in money, but in time. ur there forever trying to check out. my secret is to always throw something into ur cart u dont want. now the next time u shop, u have something to return...and the returns line is express...

i guess my point is that i have faith. i have faith in something that feels right to me. what i dont have is blind faith. i think that catholicism, in particular, requires a high level of blind faith.

i'm just sayin'

click here to see the news article about pope john paul's ability to cure parkinsons disease.

this is so ridiculous...

catholics are now trying to make john paul a saint. he has to have performed two verifiable miracles to become a saint, so catholics are scrambling to come up with a second miracle as it appears they have only one documented. do you realize how riduculous this even sounds? theyll come up with something. this is why i do not follow a organized religion, its all bullshit, smoke and mirrors

carrie fischer says that she is so fat right now that they have run out of alphabet for her bra size. thats funny.

boehner was balling yesterday...

yep. made a speech in congress about whats happened in tuscon. cried like a baaaaby.

i predicted this was going to happen...

this stuffing thing. i stuffed the pecan tartlets into the chocolate cupcakes? around thanksgiving i also posted about the cherpumple, the act of stuffing a cherry and a pumpkin pie into an apple pie? the mcgangbang? stuffing a mcchicken sandwich into a double cheeseburger? now burger king is stuffing jalapenos and cheese into its burgers. seriously...stuffing is taking off...

blood libel?

sarah palin uses an anti semitic term in her speech about recent violence in tuscon. giffords is jewish. both palin and her speech writers are idiots. i love it.

this is too weird...

channel 7 just had this report on about music. more specifically music that provokes emotion. it appears that such music releases dopamine in the brain. music is a drug. there you have it...

wtf is wrong with kabc?

how did this slip thru? series deubt?

whatever...

john travolta and kelly preston are unveiling their gay husband test tube baby, benjamin

i didnt feel comfortable asking him..

if i could take his picture. he looked like he could go off about it, so i captured a mental image of a homeless man on samo yesterday, who, through all the grime and dirt, drugs and despair, was a physically gorgeous man. perfect features. a true stunner, and it broke my heart to see it. i wanted his picture, and i wanted to title it "the failure of beauty"

i played a game with myself today...

and i lost.  i was walking to the bathroom, and i see this small brownish thing lying on the floor, by the bed. i go to pick it up, and stop myself. wait, i say...lets play a game. can u identify the mystery object before you pick it up. i looked and looked without bending to get a closer look and decided what i was looking at looked like a kernel of semi burnt popcorn. i ate a bowl in bed a few days ago, and it  w a s  a little burnt. it was a piece of chocolate chip cookie. i lost, but i popped the cookie bit in my mouth, and said YUM i win anyway...

what is wrong with bethany frankel..

she appears to have grown another chin..

you could be cher's neighbor...

ted williams is being offered a super bowl commercial. shit, with that kindof money, you could live in malibu...for years!

david solomon in baltimore

he was my attorney, and ive never forgotten something he said to me on the day my case wrapped. he turned to me and said "it was a pleasure to represent someone for a change who is not a piece of shit "

very unusual...

department of justice appoints private defense counsel for tuscon shooter.  they only do that when the federal public defender opts out. i had a private attorney because the public defender didn't want to touch the case. conflict of interest.

brian rubenstein..

he's kindof a dick. true to stereotype.

this is donnie from smashcuts...

this would make me happy...

the "person of interest" in the shooting of the arizona congresswoman?  i would LOVELOVELOVE it if he was somehow connected to sarah palin and the tea party. love that scenario.

this was riduculous...

i went to home depot yesterday to get the conduit for brians drapes. i needed 4 lengths and wrote them down on a paper and stuffed it in my back pocket. i even double checked before i walked out the door to make sure i had the measurements. i thought wouldnt that be awful to get all the way down there and then not have the exact measurements with me. well, im in home depot, and i reach for the measurements...and its not there. i get frantic searching all pockets. its not there. i had a breakdown. i said out loud "i cant fucking believe this" and i just stood there for a minute with my head down...trying to breath calmly and i said it again. slowly. i. cant. fucking. believe. this.  i put the paper purposely  in my back left pocket because nothing else goes there. i didnt want it in my front pocket because the phone and keys go there and paper could accidentally get pulled out and lost when the phone or the keys get pulled out. i enacted safety measures to make sure this didnt happen and it did. it blew me away. how did i lose that paper en route? i dont know...talk about pissed off...

;)

maybe i should just fuck that smart little ass of yours...hahahaha (see "what do do about the black man")

i have puppy moments..

really...im a seasoned dawg, but sometimes i act like a puppy. an idiot. rapid speech, excitability, euphoria, laughter..and then i run around in circles and crap on the floor

what ive decided to do about the black man...

the huge muscle creep from my gym? well...its my personality type to let him know i dont like him. a look isnt enough, there needs to be a verbal delivery. he has this habit of talking on his cell phone in the gym. loudly. nightclubs, jewelry, bitches..all for everyone to hear. next time the situation presents, im going to fake getting a call.  "oh..yes, hi..yeah i can talk. hold on though, let me get to someplace private.  i dont want to look like an ass by blowing up everyones gym experience with my personal phone calls, u know, im not that stupid..." and then i leave. he probably will punch me in the face next time he sees me in the garage, but that could be hot. maybe we'll end up having sex, u never know.

here i am...

real housewives of beverly hills does this really beautiful location stuff and thats my home. see the W?

yikes!!

the earth fell away in san clemente last night.  all red tag houses that you'd never find me sleeping in.

40 yards of chocolate ultrasuede.

nipple jewelries and air conditioner covers...

after i posted about mario lopez needing nipple covers, these were the google ads that appeared on my home page.

mario lopez needs nipple covers...

40 yrds of chocolate brown ultrasuede is kinda heavy :(

i love this commercial too...

what happens in vegas? the chauffeur and the client switch hats? i just think the black guy is so cute how he flips his finger to tell the guy to flip his fork over. like, nope...other side.

here he is folks!

the 190 million dollar man. what i really liked about his story was listening to him describe the moment he realized it and how he went about telling his wife. he seems a great guy. he also said that this was about his children. and his grandchildren. and their grandchildren.  and their grandchildren. that no one was going to have to worry ever again.  bravo! thats one of the better ways to use this kind of money. enable many generations to come.

today is brian rubenstein day...

leaving around 10 this morning to hit the fabric district downtown. im on a buying trip for materials to put up drapes in his apartment. he lives on the 8th floor.

distracted doctoring...

it appears that dr conrad murray was on his iphone, texting, during the time period that the coroner says that michael jackson was dying.

im a pig...

i ate so much lasagna last night, it took two flushes this morning to clear the toilet.

black people eat funny...

i made this terrific spinach lasagna for brian and i, and he made a sandwich out of it.

brians still here...

look at that hd..

brian stopped by...

 i made the lasagna for us for dinner...lucky me...

i made spinach lasagna...

kevin spacey does chelsea...

ive had sex with him. '02 '03?

this cracked me up..

im walking back from my meeting with mike lawson, and i pass a person on the sidewalk talking loudly into a cell phone perched on their ear, and the guy says "well, im just gonna go get some crystal then..." it made me laugh all the way down the street. i thought well, you go on. get u some crystal. shits some kick, just be careful with it though!! hahahaha

im glad i met mike lawson...

 in the process of thinning out the herd anyway, it was time to restock the ranch...

an aura like smog...

there's this huge muscle black guy who has started training at my private gym. im starting to run into him in the mornings here and there. i have to finish up when he comes in because i can feel such an awful vibe from him, it's like breathing smog. serious serious attitude. picture pigpen from snoopy bringing in this cloud of arrogance and attitude that pollutes the whole gym. i go back later, i got all day...

this is a usb flash drive...

its supposed to be the best place for pedophiles to hide their porn. i mean you can buy weed stash containers that look like red bull cans why not a porn stash in a toy car...

the business end of sunset media tower...

this is the OTHER side of the building you see in all the shots out my window

republicans take on health care..

haters. thery gonna try to repeal it but the fight WILL end in the senate.  why do it then if you know youll lose? so much for working together.

this is frank goddio on the right..

an archeologist i just watched on science channel.  ADORABLE!!