t h e... H o l l y w o o d R e p o r t e r
My photo
Hollywood, CA, United States
professionally manipulated observations on politics, media and celebrity as i see it from my teetering perch just below the hollywood sign

Monday, September 26, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

an open letter to the attorneys for dr. conrad murray...

from what i can decifer through google, your firm is handling dr. murrays defense. i have a story for you. my neighbor recently was relating a story to me about a time he was in the hospital recovering from surgery of some sort. he was on a morphine drip for pain. he told me that when his nurse left him, he pinched the plastic tubing at the morphine source between his thumb and forefinger and slid it down the tube toward his arm. he delivered a huge shot of morphine to himself and overdosed immediately. they brought him out of it, but the nurse got fired because the hospital had no idea he had  done this. it was thought the nurse acted improperly. if michael jackson was on a propofol drip, why couldnt the drip have stopped for some reason which would have snapped him out of it. he would be awake now and might just decide that he can knock himself back out again the same way my neighbor did. he was a drug addict. drug addicts do shit like that. he could have delivered a lethal dose of propofol to himself  this way.  im just a guy who watches tv, and was wondering if you have thought of this.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Thursday, August 4, 2011

i don't get it..or them, rather..

it took me awhile to figure out that this is rachael maddow. i'm not sure i like her as a 13 year old boy. this makes me question lesbians even more...

the express lane @ the grocery store...

should not be determined by the number of items. it should be set by time consumed." if your transaction will take more than 4 minutes to complete,  you will need to get the fuck out of this line "

Thursday, July 28, 2011

texting...

i had this text conversation with a buddy today about money, and then it turned to dick size on black men. he said not all big, i said i know. i said that must be rough to know that you disappoint everyone the first time they see you naked because you KNOW they expect to see a big one.

i am a parent to my own inner child...

so the next time someone asks me if i have any children, im going to say yes, i have one..it's me..

new hampshire teenager goes missing this week...

i think she ran away. to the dentist...

lesbians are just dickless men...

i'd have an attitude problem too if i had been born without my boy junk...

Monday, July 25, 2011

jaycee dugard blah blah blah...

a big chunk of a life lost due to the failure of the system. the state of california settled with her out of court for 20 million dollars. what about the men who get exonerated after 20 years behind bars because of dna evidence. those are big chunks of lives lost due to failures of the system. nobody hears much about them and i HIGHLY doubt they even get any money.

i wasn't looking for this information, but i happened to notice it on a news report...

the norwegian shooter claims membership in the knights templar. that shit goes WAY back to the foundations of the christian church. they were the elite guard that was supposed to protect the secret story that christ didnt die on the cross but allegedly made his way via boat across the mediterranean sea to the south of france, and fathered children with mary magadalene. they have also allegedly been ruthless terrorists throughout history, stopping at nothing to protect the lineage of christ. it's spooky stuff...very davinci code/illuminati. what happened in norway is awful, but it's not something new...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sunday, July 17, 2011

really cute baby..

local news coverage of womens soccer match final. it's the baby. how cute is he?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

if casey anthony had been convicted...

she would have gotten her ASS kicked in prison for killing a kid.  now that she won't be going to prison, i'm not so sure that she'll be able to avoid that prison style justice. she's gonna get her ass kicked..or shes gonna get killed. girls got a rough ride ahead of her...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

the lost penguin...

the penguin that recently turned up in new zealand, and had to be operated on because it ate sand thinking it was food? well, its doing well, and thanks to an international businessman, will be returned to antarctica sometime next year. here's the conversation the penguin has with his buddies upon his return..."i was in this strange place, and they put things up my butt, and put some weird probe inside me. then i woke up and found myself back here again...aliens..theyre real..."

i bet you one hundred million bazillion (cuz im pretty sure of this one) dollars that...

oprahs team is working on getting the first interview with amanda knox once she is freed from that italian prison.  its gonna happen, and oprah is too full of herself to not throw her hat in the ring...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Monday, June 27, 2011

the kid should have kept running...

the more detailed story on the news this morning on this kid is that he is here undocumented and speaks no english. the argument he had with his stepmom that sent him running was that she told him he was going to have to learn to speak english. seriously, that was the argument. the kid should have kept running...back to mexico. that si riduculoso!

sometimes i pretend i'm christie brinkley..

if you want to walk like christie brinkley in "uptown girl" you have to set the treadmill to 3.8 mph

Sunday, June 26, 2011

alcoholics can be very entertaining...

take ramona from real housewives of new york. she's always lit up. look at her eyes, man..she's lit up ALL the time!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

they really should have put the camera on her feet instead...

i'm just not into the huge talking breast shot. it's almost pornographic. thanks abc7...

it happens...

if i were denise dador, i would have wanted to die. she's a reporter here at abc7 wrapping up her story about a paralyzed teenager graduating from high school. she mistakenly said he walked into his graduation..i mean wheeled...

casey anthony's mother watches the view...

this week on the view, the ladies got into a heated discussion about casey anthonys' mother and to what extent this trial is tearing her heart out. joy behar took the bold stance to say that if that were her daughter on trial, she would do ANYTHING to make sure she did not receive the death penalty...including, being willing to lie on the stand.  yesterday casey anthonys' mother testified that SHE was the one who searched the term "chloroform" on the computer.  it changes the game..puts the death penalty option in jeopardy.  casey anthony owes joy behar lunch ...or something...

Thursday, June 23, 2011

rocco dispiritos delusional chef...

this is from the most recent rocco's dinner party. i cannot imagine WHO on earth looks at this dude and thinks he's pretty. wow...maybe his mom?

Monday, June 20, 2011

follow me on twitter too!

click the "twitter" icon in the spindug title to take you to my twitter profile. i'm a new twit. follow me dammit...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

northern trust should be ashamed of themselves...

this is the problem i have with republicans in general. northen trust is letting super rich people know that they can help them to pay as little tax on their money as possible. "take medications away from old people so you can spend more time in monte carlo..."  i'd be ashamed of myself if i really thought that.

Monday, June 13, 2011

excuse me, miss ross...

oprah niggerd out. diana ross made her do this. it was part of the deal....

Thursday, June 9, 2011

i saw this firetruck out the window today...

that pink building on the corner is the backend of the hollywood palladium. the academy awards show, the wizard of oz year, was held in that bldg. i dig living amongst history like this.

le bron james threw game 4 of the nba finals...

dallas was down by 9 going into the 4th quarter. le bron did NOT score a single point the entire 4th quarter, and dallas ended up winning. le bron james can throw up 3 pointers blindfolded. you cannot tell me his not scoring a single point the entire 4th quarter was accidental. the longer the series goes on, the more money everyone makes. its all about the money....

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

anthony weinergate...

NO ONE is physically attracted to this. the only way he HAS sex is because of his position and power. sexting is just about getting accolade and affirmation about that power. he needs to go..

Friday, June 3, 2011

omg...really?

i see someone scribbled 420 over the sign also. probably some stoner pervert...

dr kevorkian passes...

i recall a quote by him. when asked what prison was like, he replied "loud ...and boring"

Monday, May 30, 2011

SURPRISE!!!!

im going to be 49 this year and i've never been thrown a surprise birthday party.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

oprah winfrey gets an oscar...finally...

best actress, season finale. scripted crap, but she played it well.

bill clinton...

i'm so glad he's still running this country, he's a smart man.

prescription drugs scattered everywhere...

the wal mart in joplin missouri was blow apart by a tornado. there were alot of powerful prescription drugs in the pharmacy. do you suppose there are people out looking for vicodin and morphine laying around on the ground?

does anyone know...

if you got sucked up into a tornado, what would be the exact cause of death? suffocation? does your head explode from pressurization issues? do they find your body in one piece or is it everywhere?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

breaking news...oprah winfrey is drunk right now...

her final show was taped today. they wrapped about 2 hours ago. that bitch is drunk right now.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

angel wings would burn off in a zero gravity vaccuum..

stephen hawking is catching grief for recently stating that there is no heaven.  everyone is HEARING that he said there is no god.  thats not what he said folks, he simply stated that nowhere within the physical parameters of our universe does there exist a place that contains pearly gates.

the rapture...

i think...that anyone who truely believes the world will end at 6pm today should burn all of their money.  if you take alot of cash out of circulation, you could reset the world financial market and end the economic crisis.  the US dollar would be worth more than a dollar if there were less OF them.  i urge all evangelicals to do this for the good of the country. burn your money now, fools!  AND..if it doesn't happen...the world does not end today, i think all evangelicals should take this as a sign that they are WRONG, and they should just shut the fuck up from here on out.

Friday, May 20, 2011

cyanide laced tylenol...

i kinda hope its a dna match for the unibomber.  the feds think he might be the tylenol killer from back in the 80's in chicago.  it was 1985 and i remember being on a coke and beer run with my crazy black friend gwen. she was the age i am now then, and i was about 21.  we went to the walgreens at north and wells in chicago, and at the register she turns to me, both of us coked and drunk out of out minds and sez "you know baby this is the walgreeens they sold all that tylenol at..."

i would have been super pissed..

that i had been manipulated if i was this guy in "what would you do".  only way i would have signed the release would have been with a big fat bonus check or i would have said "fuck you, what would you do..."

bloody, blown out, orange hole...

i hope they didn't put this bus ad up anywhere in west hollywood. it's enough to make a queen cringe...

hollywood blvd at wilton place...

cum hoe tires.  really....

Thursday, May 19, 2011

the apple store today...

i went in. my recent computer crash had me concerned about my music. i told the tech that my major concern was that it would get stolen or i would lose the fucker.  i told him i actually would like the ipod surgically implanted on my body so that that would never happen.

never say "i have trouble keeping weight on" to a fat person..

it doesn't go well...

chelsea handler at the pantages...

nobody in hollywood gives a shit about chelsea handler anymore. she works alot, and i believe its because she knows that her type of humor gets on your nerves after awhile.  she's gettin it while she can.  she's not stupid...she's also not funny anymore.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

@patrickshriver...

patrick schwarzenegger, arnold and marias' 13 year old son changed his twitter account yesterday from @pschwarzenegger to @patrickshriver. thats funny...

if you've watched truth or dare...

you will recall that the chicago tour dates for blonde ambition got cancelled.  madonna snarked that that was another reason to not like chicago...other than the fact that oprah winfrey lived there.  yesterday, madonna was in chicago at the united center for the final oprah winfrey show tapings.  she said it would be a "neglect of my obligation to not be here to thank a woman who has been an inspiration and a force of positive change in mine and so many lives for so long."  i feel betrayed.  i feel lied to. i thought these two bitches hated each other.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

the schwarzenegger baby...

you cant tell me that the family members of the illegitimate childs mother did not notice very early on that her kid was a half breed. i'll bet that child support payment was a blanket payment to ALOT of folks to keep their guacamoles shut...

Monday, May 16, 2011

this was interesting..

i saw bridesmaids today at LA Live. it was the 11 o'clock show in theater #11....

hollywood and vine right now...

theyre blowing concrete onto a 4 story parking garage going in next to the montalban theater

i think i'm gonna be sick...

space shuttle endeavor lifted off this morning from cape canaveral on its final mission.  shuttle commander mark kelly exchanged wedding rings with his wife, congresswoman gabrielle giffords beforehand.  does the shuttle come WITH a barfbag???

Monday, May 9, 2011

chaz bono does not have a penis...

and she's not interested in getting one either.  this whole chaz bono thing is stupid.  she's just a fat lesbian who had a breast reduction surgery. "i live as a man now..."  excuse me?? doesn't every lesbian live as a man???  i'll go along with the name change thing, but i can't refer to you as a man until you get your penis..girl...

on the unnecessary frightening of little children...

face transplant recipients look like frankenstein. you're wondering how the child reacted to seeing her fathers new face for the first time?  she probably screamed.  probably scared her half to death

pakistan is so stupid..

they are denying the u.s. access to the bin laden compound. big deal. we already have everything we need. what do we care about the cock roach and sewer rat problem he faced.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

walgreens brand...

wal-zyrrr-istan...

revlon breast cancer run this morning...

live from exposition park, reported alex michallson interviewing the head coach of the la sparks. womans baketball coach lending her support to breast cancer research. i admire the concept but i think this big dyke is out here for the titties for another reason too....

really...

this was just slipped in on  the news this morning. the patriot act is up for renewal this year. really. maybe thats what this osama dead now thing is really all about...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

pictures of dead bodies...

id prefer not to see a dead bin laden, but i think theyre gonna have to release the picture...bleech!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

why donald trump is running for president...

does he want the job? hell no.  do you have any idea how much control of his personal life and what comes out of his mouth he would have to give up if he were to become president? its never going to happen..he does NOT want the job.  so why is he running?  he knows he cant win.  its the spectacle of the run.  all that free face time, a chance to blow his own horn, and a BIG loser bash at mar lago.  social event of the season. melania probably has randolph duke working on the dress already. i love it.

i take this shit seriously...

i was out in the parking garage blowin a cig. in my head, im running this current facebook conversation i'm having with damien around and around. he told me im crazy, and i said "im not crazy, i take risks."  i ditch the butt, and start back into the house, still running that quote through my head.  "its great. a classic line. i want it to be part of my legacy. its really how you would sum up your life, i take risks" im very happy with what i just said.  i open the front door and the first thing i see is the time on the stove. spititualist say that seeing the 11:11 is god or the universe...i choose universe... inserting a talking point into your life. something you need to think about. something significant. i truely believe that.

a better way to eat cheetos..

you really need a glove on. no finger licking. no staining. no need to find a sink once you're done feeding...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Hmmm...hurdling thru space at 350 miles per hour encased in an aluminum weiner. Im not all that crazy about this anymore. Can we just stop here?

this really rubs me the wrong way...

i guess the ballerina "double" for natalie portman is crying foul now, saying she wants credit for the dancing she did in the movie.  youre a damn body double. you got paid for your work. you have no business trying, now, to say you were wronged because it wasnt obvious that you did the dancing. shutthefuckup!

its wheels up at 1...

wisconsin here i come, ready or not!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

wtf???

the hollywood hills are solid bedrock...

thats why they can get away with this kindof construction in an earthquake zone. i mean look at this...this thing is dangling over a cliff on stilts.

i didnt know...

that mark zuckerberg was doing print ad modeling now. doesnt this dude look like mark zuckerberg??

Monday, April 4, 2011

yale university slapped with title IX sex discrimination lawsuit...

this is one of the women claiming sexual harrassment. who the hell is sexually harrassing this frickin ugly bahdonkadonk?  no one, thats who...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

umhh..

i just created this anacronym for myself. others may use it, but you MUST fit the parameters. upwardly mobile hot homosexual. have at it bitches!

how awful this was...

i just finished this fucking paper. i worked like a crazy person all morning. i had to deconstruct a poem about the vietnam war, and anal eyez the themes. in mla style. and cite my work.  bulecch...how fucking boring...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

hot tub action last night...

this was so funny. we were ignoring this dude, and he knew i was filming. he starts to show off for the camera.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

hey marcel, watch this...

i love this commercial too. are you listening to me? marcel?

you can deal with this or you can deal with that...

kia soul commercial.  do dah dippity

another oprah's a phoney rant...

season 25 behind the scenes this week is the backstory to the australia visit.  they have just wrapped up a day in melbourne, and oprah is pow wowing with her staff about how it went down. oprah is upset because she felt the whole segment was about her and lacked any significant purpose other than to gather a bunch of people to shout "all hail oprah" she is berating her staff.  really?  if you wanted a talking point, you would have put it in the script. so either oprah is totally incompetent and had no clue going into the event what she was going to be talking about OR oprah is a phoney motherfucker who is trying to pretend she cares about something other than self promotion. and making more money.

this is my new favorite tee shirt...

oprah is a drag queen...

this is oprah getting her makeup put on. its drag queen transformational makeup.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

i think this is a great picture...

my reflection in the glass doors to the W on hwd blvd at vine

you cannot call the phone company...

ive been on the phone now for about 25 minutes, trying to reach a real operator or customer service rep at AT and T. you cannot do it. you cannot call the original phone company anymore...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

It's 3o'clock and I've only eaten an apple today and I'm not hungry. And I'm not on drugs. What's up with that?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

this is at the home depot in hollywood...

i just noticed this placard on the front entrance to the hollywood home depot

KABC reporting from elizabeth taylors star on the walk of fame today

buh bye liz...

this is how i first met liz taylor. i saw her on the lucy show with richard burton. the story line on the show was that lucy somehow got ahold of the huge diamond burton gave taylor and it got stuck on her finger. what a life. well played elizabeth, we will miss you...

winning...

bottled water distributers in tokyo..duh, winning!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

i have a new piece of vuitton..

and thats pronounced whee tahn

christiano has arrived...

hottest new artist in hollywood. his stuff is everywhere. this guy just blew up. look for it

ok, so charlie was on jimmy kimmel last night...

he face planted a full mouth kiss on jimmy kimmel, and gave him this cup/mug with pictures of two foxes taped to the sides of the glass.  charlie said he would let jimmy figure out what that meant.  i think its a reference to two girls and a cup. only its two foxes and a cup. an obvious reference to charlies off the chain sex life. google video two girls and a cup if this doesnt sound familiar to you...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

i love the rain...

l. ron hubbard had quite an imagination...

he was a science fiction writer, not a religious leader. how did his fantasy stories become a religion? i'll tell you..taxes. forming a religion saved having to pay taxes on the book profits. genius. religious doctrine? are you fucking kidding me??

Friday, March 11, 2011

i don't know alot about tsunami's...

but i'm pretty sure you can ride the wave on a surfboard, from hawaii all the way to gilligans island...and back again.  i saw that on a tv show once, so it must be true.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

great white count off california coast..

new report in says that there are approximately 200 great white sharks living off the entire coast of california. apparently, its not a great place for a great white.  200 or 200 thousand, no matter...it really only takes just one....

two and a half adults...

i think they should recast charlie sheen. put in jenny mccarthy and call it two and a half adults. mix it up and have fun with it. if they put another male in there to take over sheens role, you will get maybe 6 episodes of curiosity viewers and then it will get cancelled midseason. shit..its going to get cancelled anyway so why not do something outrageous to serve as a final bookend to the show. or do nothing and wrap it up now.

suri cruise is frickin 5 years old...

why does this kid still have a pacifier in her mouth?  maybe she inherited her fathers oral fixations...

this dumb bitch...

just got kicked out of celebrity rehab by dr drew. he told her her only addiction was to drama and told her to leave. 

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

i find it hard to believe that..

either oprah or her "team" didn't put this together.  behind the scenes season 25 on OWN IS fascinating, BUT reality television doesn't always put people in their best light, and from a PR perspective, showing what oprah is like behind the scenes is not a good idea.  i've watched all of the episodes, and i come away with it that oprah is quite arrogant. she refuses to accept that she might be wrong about something, and she is REAL phoney with alot of people. yeah, the show is interesting..ratings gold for a new network, but... my opinion of miss winfrey went right in the toilet because of it.

Monday, March 7, 2011

check out what time that first train to union station pulls out...

thats my kinda ride

not all feminine washes control odor...

this is from a vagisil commercial. the female announcer says that she just found out the "hard" way that not all feminine washes control odor. what is the "hard" way to find out your vagina is smelly? if we believe the actors in this spot, the hard way is by having one of these women in the background tell you to your face, and then laugh about it, that your cootch is rotted out. that would be kinda hard to take, i guess...

the lamp shade..

is finished..finally. it is my design and execution. i think it looks fabulous!

smart move, kamofie jewelers...

kamofie is the jewelry store in venice where lindsay lohan apparently pulled off the alleged heist. they just sold surveillance video of lindsay shopping in the store to entertainment tonite for thirty grand. the only time that video has any value is now, before a verdict is given. once she is found guilty or not guilty, the video doesnt mean anything anymore, and therefore has no value to anyone. kamofie only stands to retrieve the value of the necklace, which is two thousand dollars. big deal.  free press on entertainment tonite?..priceless. thirty grand for the video?..amazing.  i would have done exactly the same thing.  bravo kamofie!

when i first heard this, i thought it was silly, but...

the more i hear about what happened, the more it sounds bad for prince andrew...i get the concern.  prince andrew apparently knows a registered sex offender in florida. big deal, i thought. the reality of it is that prince andrew flew from england to florida to celebrate the child molesters release from prison on sex charges. it also appears that the pervert also paid off a sizeable chunk of fergies debt. knowing a pervert is one thing..i know ALOT of perverts, but, if my mother was the queen of england, i would NOT be flying across the pond to celebrate a chomo's release from the pokey, AND allow myself to be photographed with one of his underage hookers. BAD judgement call all the way around andy...scrutiny deserved!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

mitra made an interesting comment..

about the oscars. she noticed not too many women wearing necklaces. she thinks its because of the lindsay lohan incident. jewelers and or actresses are gun shy about taking jewelry on loan.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

just remember...

its not kittys fault!

so christina aguilera is in the west hollywood jail right now..

her boyfriend was driving and got pulled over this morning. he got arrested and charged with dui. she was too drunk to be released on her own, and did not have anyone to come pick her up from the jail. really? where's her fucking publicist or her agent? they couldnt come get her to avoid this embarrassment?  i would get new representation christina...

Monday, February 28, 2011

i did not know this...

but apparently, you can orally injest propofol. i thought it had to be injected. i could totally see michael jackson snapping out of his coma, see the bottle on the table, and down it. he was a freaky drug addict..  freaky drug addicts DO  shit like that.  i think there's reasonable doubt, and therefore you cannot convict. i predict dr. murray will walk on this.

news item

this is debra oberlin. she used to be the president of mothers against drunk driving. she was arrested on feb 18th in gainsville florida driving with a blood alcohol level of .239!!! thats not drunk, thats fucking WASTED! behind the wheel...really?