t h e... H o l l y w o o d R e p o r t e r
My photo
Hollywood, CA, United States
professionally manipulated observations on politics, media and celebrity as i see it from my teetering perch just below the hollywood sign

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

i photoshopped my painting into this interior...

this will go into my portfolio. great idea, huh?

dont bro me unless you know me...

this was too funny. i got an email message from this idiot on manhunt today, screen name brobrobro and his message was "whaddup bro?"  hahahahaha!

my new phone..

metro pcs.  tmobile can suck my left one.

i wonder if this would work..

if you didnt have much going on for a few days where you could just hang out at home alot, and you ate a bunch of exlax, you could probably lose around 6/7 pounds in a week and the only exercise involved is wiping your ass.  i could do it, i need to drop about 10.

Monday, November 29, 2010

ive got another painting to do...

i picked up this used canvas at a thrift store.  the point is to get at least 5 done before i can put a decent book together to present

bottom line, though..

i dont agree with actions by wikileaks.  sometimes transparency isnt the best policy...

i just tore an entire chapter out of an $80 text book...

i have a test on this material tomorrow and a meeting with alot of down time involved out in westwood today.  this will give me a chance to study without lugging a 50lb textbook around with me. i couldnt have taken it in for buyback anyway cuz the flash cards that came with it have already been seperated and used.

hollywood christmas parade boom

what wiki-leaks leaked yesterday...

below is a short exerpt from wiki-leaks about hamid karzai.  if you have been following my blog you will recall that last week i speculated as to what wiki-leaks was teasing us with when saying they had information about karzai's personal life.  read on...

Western forces fighting in southern Afghanistan had a problem. Too often, soldiers on patrol passed an older man walking hand-in-hand with a pretty young boy. Their behavior suggested he was not the boy’s father. Then, British soldiers found that young Afghan men were actually trying to “touch and fondle them,” military investigator AnnaMaria Cardinalli told me. “The soldiers didn’t understand.”All of this was so disconcerting that the Defense Department hired Cardinalli, a social scientist, to examine this mystery. Her report, “Pashtun Sexuality,” startled not even one Afghan. But Western forces were shocked – and repulsed.
For centuries, Afghan men have taken boys, roughly 9 to 15 years old, as lovers. Some research suggests that half the Pashtun tribal members in Kandahar and other southern towns are bacha baz, the term for an older man with a boy lover. Literally it means “boy player.” The men like to boast about it.
“Having a boy has become a custom for us,” Enayatullah, a 42-year-old in Baghlan province, told a Reuters reporter. “Whoever wants to show off should have a boy.”
Baghlan province is in the northeast, but Afghans say pedophilia is most prevalent among Pashtun men in the south. The Pashtun are Afghanistan’s most important tribe. For centuries, the nation’s leaders have been Pashtun.
President Hamid Karzai is Pashtun, from a village near Kandahar, and he has six brothers. So the natural question arises: Has anyone in the Karzai family been bacha baz? Two Afghans with close connections to the Karzai family told me they know that at least one family member and perhaps two were bacha baz. Afraid of retribution, both declined to be identified and would not be more specific for publication.
As for Karzai, an American who worked in and around his palace in an official capacity for many months told me that homosexual behavior “was rampant” among “soldiers and guys on the security detail. They talked about boys all the time.”

Sunday, November 28, 2010

what a dick looks like...

huge police presence at the parade. doesnt this cop just look like a total dick?

christmas parade prep

hwd blvd in front of the roosevelt hotel around 5pm

here comes santee claus...

hollywood christmas parade wrap up from my rooftop overlooking vine street. im actually in the fitness center sitting on a treadmill taking this shot

you spin me right round...

this is pete burns, lead singer for dead or alive.  i know, its fucked.  bad plastic surgery.

classic joan rivers...

fashion police on E! on friday nights.   "that dress has more studs on it than a pool party at john travoltas"

anyone have five grand?

there IS someone in LA who will pay $5000 for this piece. i just have to find them.

and heres my place at daybreak...

the next post will answer your questions, june!

tiger woods and i...

this is an ambien moment.  ive been taking it on and off for about a year for sleeplessness, and this is the first ambien sleep eating episode ive had.  fried chicken, peanut butter, brownies and brown sugar were laying on the counter this morning and i dont recall eating this shit....

Saturday, November 27, 2010

my apartment at night from selma avenue

yup, thats all mine. you can see the blue painting.

give my cousin the credit on this one..

its frickin brilliant.  she told me to crank out a few more art pieces and put together a book of what i can do.  shop this book to interior designers who want custom colored abstract artwork for clients.  if herman miller chairs are everywhere at $5000 a piece, whats to say you cant sell a custom art piece to a client for the same amount.  split it with the designer.  its frickin brilliant.  and its green art...all recycleable material..  my heads kinda spinning as to how well this could work out for me...

character development...

what i have so far is that he dies of asphyxiation due to a blockage of his windpipe by gummi worms.  he is on a crazed sugar high and is stuffing an exorbitant amount of gummi worms in his mouth.  the partially dissolved goo becomes gelatinous and when he tries to swallow it it gummies up his plans for taking another breath.  now i just need to find an interesting character to kill off this way...

if you like peanut butter and sugar..

this is half brown sugar and half peanut butter. but dont eat alot of this all at once.
oh, and i just got this faboo new lamp at target!

this breaks my heart...

on the day before thanksgiving, the DEA announced that it was exercising emergency power to make illegal all designer pot. no more synthetic marijuana.  i was just saying to mitra last week how i was absolutely blown away by the fact that i could go to the store and buy this shit that gets you totally ripped.  i like the spike max. its a one hit wonder.  once again, my fun foiled by the feds!

absolutely ridiculitis...

i learned two new words today.  radiculo is the proximal end of a peripheral nerve closest to the spinal cord and radiculitis is an inflammation of that nerve end.

somali teenager...

this is that kid who tried to blow up the truck in portland yesterday.  he would make a great drag queen..look at those lips! perfect queen pout!

not sure what to call this one...

i was trying to think of what were the immediate first thoughts in the minds of those kids out on that dinghy when they first realized that they were drunk, and terribly fucked. i can relate, i guess cuz i was high as a kite for my first experience with the united states marshalls service.  that was a very fucked experience.

my back issues...

i put all my workout gear in a gym bag and starp it on my back every morning. yoga mat, gloves, towel, ipod, water and attitude.  i was home a full hour today, entertaining thoughts of a pulled muscle in my back cuz i could feel an unusual pull.  it wasnt until i caught myself in profile in the hall mirror did i see the backpack.  still on. OMG i cracked up...

this ones for joe...

so, back to this three kids lost at sea for two months story.  they wrangled a boat to go to a nearby island to meet girls.  do you suppose billis arranged for the transport? hahahaha!

Friday, November 26, 2010

hamid karzi...uh hum...

so wiki-leaks is ready to unload a new round of classified documents on sunday.  wiki-leaks is saying that afghanistan president hamid karzai's personal life will be laid out. i bet any money its that he's fucking little boys.  its big there, i saw a documentary on it on logo awhile back.  they make the boys dance for them and then whoomph!

this is a great story...

those kids who were just pulled from the ocean near new zealand? familys thought they were dead cuz its been a month they have been lost at sea in a dinghy, basically. well, they get rescued, and turns out they were drunk, and untied the dinghy and tried to sail it to a nearby island to hook up with a chick. that would be such a bummer to wake up with a hangover adrift on the open sea...

i kinda like it this way too...

ta dah!!!

yes, this is that screen...

i ran out of glue...

on my way to the 99 cent store to get some more and this is what i have so far.

phase two...

its a korean newspaper elmers glued to the screen.  my base coat.

ive got this idea...

stayed tuned to see what i do to this.  i found this screen out on the street this morning on my way home from ballys.

dressing turds...

just saw on the local news that today is the busiest day of the year for roto rooter.  its all those huge dressing turds clogging up the septic lines.

11:11

you know what i JUST noticed looking at the previous post is that the clock on the range says 11:11. i didnt catch that until right now. seeing 11:11 on clocks makes me smile. it makes me stop what im doing for a moment and think about god. im dead serious. happens all the time.

yummmm...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

hooray for delta..

delta airlines has decided to refund ticket prices if flyers do not want to go thru a body scan or pat down before flying. its perfect. u want to raise hell about not wanting to be part of what is necessary then you dont HAVE to get on the plane.  get in your car and drive there then bitches!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

a future conversation..

mitra: why did you shave your eyebrow down like that?
scott: my agent told me to do it.

good morning...

outgoing text msg: just got back from the gym, im really ripe.  incoming text msg: dont do ANYTHING ill be right there ;)

it's baaack!!

i threw this piece of furniture out about two months ago, and yesterday, it reappeared in the same place i put it months ago. someone obviously came to the same conclusion i did and that it's just ugly, and cant be saved...

Friday, November 19, 2010

poor karen walker...

i cant believe this is your career..

wesley snipes

is listed as in transit on the federal bureau of prisons website.  that means the us marshalls have him, and theyre some real pricks   hahaha, its about time

namaste...

hindu geeting acknowledging the divine in oneself and the individual you are greeting. i like it. namaste!

morning glory...

is billing itself as the sharpest comedy since devil wears prada. from what i can see, it IS devil wears prada...

the new redbury and capitol records

mitras coming down tonite!!!

yayyyyy :)))

the imprint..

so i went down there today to see cher's imprint...

its still wet and covered in plastic

Thursday, November 18, 2010

cher...

i just saw on the news cher is putting her prints in cement in front of graumanns in about an hour.  if i had more energy right now, id hop on the bus and head down there, but it'll be a frickin mob scene and ill never actually see HER anyway...

damaged goods turn me on...

found myself staring at this guy at the gym this morning because he walked with a limp, like twisted ankle kind of limp. it kindof turned me on. i wonder if this is the same reason i brought injured baby birds home when i was a kid. some kind of "ill take care of you" thing...hmmm

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

my home in the news...

hollywood publicist ronnie chasen gunned down in bev hills last night, and was last seen right here in the building at an after party for the premier of burlesque

watching bristol palin can get on your nerves...

this makes me proud to be from wisconsin. did y'all see on the news where this guy from wisconsin got so upset watching bristol palin on dancing with the stars that he shot out the tv with a shotgun and went on a 15 hour standoff with the police. omg..i knew us cheeseheads were passionate people, but, wow..hahaha!

anchor babies...

my idea for the collectable craze of 2011. not beanie babies, but anchor babies.  there will be a housekeeper anchor baby and a day laborer anchor baby, maybe a drug dealer, a low rider etc...anchor babies, collect them all!!

kate middleton is a beautiful girl...

she's going to make a great princess

Friday, November 12, 2010

snickers & a can of frosting...

when i was a little kid, my grandma busted me one time in her pantry with a half eaten box of sugar cubes...yummmmm

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

november 11th is a very special day..

it's 11/11.  without boring you with the technical mumbo jumbo, what this means simply is that the Universe will be open to receive your requests all day tomorrow. google 11:11 also. 

someone in my bldg drives a lamborghineeee...

i think meg whitman is hiding out in my building...

same big forehead horseface with that stringy flip hairdo...bleeech!

catalina missle crisis..

dont make me take my shoe off...but..the really disturbing part of this story is not that it caused alarm about a missle launch, but now that its been determined to be a jet contrail optical illusion, norad has no idea what jet caused it. so there is a large jet headed inland and they dont know where it came from or where it eventually went?  i mean its probably southwest, but dammit, they should know that its southwest for chrissakes!!

june and poppers...

i had to laugh thinking about this old friend from HS ive recently remet, she was the first person i did poppers with. me and her and patti larsen in a band practice room. patti kept saying "all i see is a big blue dot.."  hahahahaha

part 2

last night i got irritated that someone had left a huge pile of trash stacked in the hallway. i thought "this kind of behavior is not acceptable in this building. what kind of fucking pig just moved in here."  this morning, i went out at 5am to the gym, and encountered the same pile of trash STILL in the hallway, and thats when it dawned on me "that trash belongs to the new guy in the chair...its there cuz he cant wheel it to the dumpster in the garage by himself now that his homies are all gone., so i put down my gym stuff, and moved all of it to the dumpster for him. i write about it here not for recognition but as an example of a teaching moment about having all the facts before making decisions about peoples character.  ive decided not to mention the act of kindness to the new neighbor, i dont see the point.  somethings just dont need to be said.  less is better. i am looking forward to meeting him, though, it must be a good story for such a young man to be living here and to be in a chair....

my good advice..

never run after a bus or a man..there'll be another one coming in about five minutes...

i want to beat houdini..

i asked my mother this morning to set up a code word for our hopeful communication between this life and the next.  i want my bases covered.  she cried, i cried and then we both laughed and told each other how much we loved each other. :)))))))))))))))))))

part 1

a few days ago, new neighbors were moving in, 5 or 6  latino guys. young tuff homies..one of them in a chair..gunshot, i presumed. a parade of boxes being walked...and rolled in.  i wondered which one of them the new neighbor would be, and then i'm like "idiot, it's the guy in the chair, stupid!"  you dont ask a guy in a chair to help you move.  you move a guy in a chair.

pricey coke...

this andy warhol coca-cola piece just went for 35 mil at auction.  i suspect warhol always had really good coke, and was probably very generous with it, but this steps it up a level...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

mattel rocks!

mattel toys announced today a new barbie for christmas.  barbie has a video camera in her face and can record and playback to your computer all of the fun she is having.  i could think of a few places id like to sit barbie down for a while and later have her tell me what she saw....hmmmm....what did you see?   girl?

Monday, November 8, 2010

come...discover israel...

i just saw this advertisement for the israeli tourism board inviting me to discover the israel in me.  i dont think there's any in there, really.

untitled work

i arched my back, and felt a popping along side my spine like never before.  i heart yoga!  i thought to myself, the only thing i've ever used my spine for before this was as a crutch.. a funny looking, calcified upright for my precious gray matter.  the walking stick for my soul.

my lobby

i think i saw lady gaga's mother today...

old lady...like really old... with all that hair... out on hwd blvd today.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

ohh good lord...

dina lohan is going to be on the today show again tomorrow!!!  i always enjoy watching a flaming moron make an idiot out of themselves, i think i'll tune in...

portia de rossi is one ugly beeotch